Recipe For Chaos

Real Stories From The Chaotic Front

Memorial Day 2009

This is a day of remembrance specifically for those who have died in our nation’s service. In my family we extend this special day to remember close loved ones who have gone on before us. We celebrate the lives of those we have lost by visiting gravesides and re-telling our favorite memories. I hope this ritual will help the younger ones get a better sense of their history. This year we we visited sites very familiar to us. My father and my step-son. Every time we pass the cemeteries we wave and say hello from the car if we don’t have time to stop. It will often spark questions or stories that we can share throughout the year. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t miss them. There is also not a day that goes by that I don’t wish that they could have been a bigger part of my children’s lives.

memorial day weekend 002This is at the boys brothers graveside. He died in 2003 but still remains an integral part of every family picture drawn by the boys. They may not have their own memories but they have mine. They know that it was their big brother that drove me to all my prenatal appointments while I was carrying them. That he  me laugh so much I cried on millions of occasions. They know his favorite music and which books he read. He is as real a brother to them as each other.

memorial day weekend 005This is the boys with my mother at my fathers graveside. My father died while I was carring Hayden so he never met these last few babies. I regret that all the time. My father befriended and was loved by every person who ever met him. He let me tell him how badly I’d screwed something up and he would hug me and tell me that we would find a way to work it out, no matter what the problem was. ( I seemed to screw up a lot) I loved him with all my heart. There wasn’t a day that went by that I did not talk to him on the phone or see him. He was truly an amazing man just ask my kids, they would love to share their favorite grandpa stories with you.


May 25, 2009 - Posted by | Holiday's


  1. What an awesome tradition. We normally just have a barbecue and drink. I’m so sorry about the loss of your step-son. That is definitely something I didn’t know about you. Have you blogged about it?

    Comment by Cyndi | May 26, 2009

  2. We do the barbecue thing too, just after. I haven’t blogged about it. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. It was really tragic. It was just before his 18th birthday. I don’t think that I’ve mentioned much about my step children. Since the break up its been awkward as they are still the children of my heart but hard to say still my official children. If introduced to you I would still say this is my daughter, this is my son. Shannon has been pictured here as well as with my granddaughter. All in all, when I lived with their father we had 10 kids in the house, aged 17 to 0. It was a lot of fun. I still have relationships with them all.

    Comment by Paula | May 26, 2009

  3. Oh, Paula. What an awesome way to share with your children. I always think about what Memorial Day means, but never did any specific activity besides the usual family get-together. I think it’s wonderful how you’ve maintained family ties with all the kids; you can never have too many loved ones.

    Comment by mamaneeds2rant | May 26, 2009

  4. Relationships get strained every now and again as family activities get more involved but I can’t imagine my life without them in it at all.
    About Memorial Day, I just don’t want family to be something to be forgotten about when someone dies. I started it because of the special needs of the kids, seeing a graveside makes the person more tangible for them and less of a storybook story.

    Comment by Paula | May 27, 2009

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