Recipe For Chaos

Real Stories From The Chaotic Front

Valentine’s heartache

broken-heartI told you all about making the valentines with the boys but I didn’t mention what was going on in the background..Hayden was complaining about probably being too sick to go to school. I should have seen the warning signs but they had been sick the week before so I just said “you’ll be fine, you can’t miss a party day.”  Friday morning Hayden kept saying he was headachy and feverish…neither of which were true. I pressed the issue until he finally confessed he didn’t want to go because none of the other kids said they were going to  give him a valentine. He said no one likes him and he would be embarrassed.  My heart broke for him. I know that he gets pulled out of classes because he goes to his “special” classes. It’s only recently that he’s discovered that his “specialness” does not mean that he is extraordinary. He’s in third grade and he is starting to feel the differences, I know that kids have pointed out this to him on at least a few occasions. He doesn’t make friends easily. He’s never been invited to a birthday party or to play at a friends house. I can tell you that there were tears in my eyes when I told him to go to school and that everything would be fine..just wait and see. I dropped them off and went to work.  I called the school as soon as I walked in. I knew the teacher would be with students so I talked to our schools amazing secretary who assured me she would go straight away and explain the situation to his teacher and call me right back.  Hayden’s teacher is wonderful too. She has been working hard with him to develop friendships in the classroom and keeps me apprised of his progress. She has a very big heart. I’m truly blessed that Hayden has her with him.  She said she downplays the whole card thing and tries to get the party started right away. Yea! When I got home that evening he said he got “stuff” and that his day was “fine”…for a boy that is fairly high praise.

Being a mother is hard work, we feel their pain the same way they do. It’s hard not to be able to carry their burdens for them. I know that his LD is minor and am blessed because I see those who have a much harder load to carry. I am also blessed by his being in my life. One day he will make true and lasting friendships with people who see what an incredible kid he is. Until then or, lets face it always, I will carry his heart in my hands.


February 15, 2009 - Posted by | Partys


  1. i feel your pain. it is so hard to know when to step in and when to take a step back. momma bear comes out in me and i want to protect them all the time. but i know. i know. that will do more harm than good. letting go has been one of the hardest things about being a mom.

    Comment by Consuella Banana Hammock | February 16, 2009

  2. Aw…that is absolutely heart breaking. When I hear from one of my boys about some little punk breaking their heart, my first instinct is to go all Rebecca DeMornay in The Hand That Rocks The Cradle on them. You handled it so adult-like! 🙂

    Comment by So Much More Than A Mom | February 16, 2009

  3. Ha, I remember that scene. I didn’t feel adult like..I really wanted to let him stay home and I would call into work and make cookies or something. I was upset all day at work. I shared the story with a patron/friend who was so upset he brought back some treats for Hayden before we closed.

    Comment by Paula | February 16, 2009

  4. I know exactly how you feel. My oldest had some social awkwardness when he was younger and we mothers feel their pain twice as much as they do, I swear. I’m so glad your son has a helpful teacher. Most years we did, but some years we had really crappy clueless teachers.

    Comment by mamaneeds2rant | February 19, 2009

  5. okay, I have tears in my eyes – life shouldn’t be so tough for any of us but especially not our little children -so glad it all worked out okay and that he got “stuff” and that you could be relived at the end of the day as well…

    Comment by Becky | February 23, 2009

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