Recipe For Chaos

Real Stories From The Chaotic Front

Christmas Proclimations

stockingsMy step son Robert had never had an artificial Christmas tree until we moved in. When his sister Shannon was taking the  (oh at least a dozen) pieces out of the box  Robert exclaimed “Oh No! It’s broken.”

Gavin (while wearing a full Sonic the Hedgehog costume) on Santa’s knee, loudly proclaimed to all the other Wal-Mart shoppers.. You’re a fake! I can see your zippers!

Hayden, while helping to decorate the tree, was looking for the new packet of ornament hooks and asked “Where are all the hookers?  “Why can’t I find a hooker?” Why is it you can never find a Christmas Hooker when you need one?”  I couldn’t resist replying with…”Your dad always asked the same thing honey”. thus inducing my mother to have a coughing fit…(He thankfully may never understand that part.)

Gavin after unwrapping gifts stood on his brand new Sega Saturn game. I said “Don’t stand on that! It was expensive!” His response So, you didn’t buy it! Santa did!” The next year Santa only brought him a round disc sled. Momma gave all the other gifts.

When asking Gavin what good little boys get for Christmas- TOYS! Then what do bad little boys get?- Clothes!

Caleb scolding Ian about being naughty and threatening only coal in his stocking…”Shut up Caleb, You know how much I love coal!”

When coming home after a long day at work and hearing, “Look mom, we fixed the tree!” (all the ornaments were hung in one huge lump in the center of the tree.)

Over heard while doing the dishes. TIMBER! followed immediately by RUN!!!!


December 7, 2008 - Posted by | General Mayhem | , , , , ,


  1. What can I possibly say – that was FANTASTIC! I’m not sure if this is your intent at all but I’m always laughing as I’m typing a comment! You make me see the humor in the chaos! Thank you! 🙂

    Comment by Becky | December 8, 2008

  2. Hilarious, and sadly…familiar! 🙂 Love your blog and am linking you to mine now…

    Comment by somuchmorethanamom | December 9, 2008

  3. Also, joined you on Facebook.

    Comment by somuchmorethanamom | December 9, 2008

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